Monthly Archives: June 2009

Challenges are meant to be conquered.

A drawing of Elmiryn at the river guardian’s cave, when she’s facing down the demi-god (I was going to add a looming shadow to indicate that).  This is a work in progress.

Still working on that expression of hers.  Elmiryn’s face is angular, so I have trouble getting that across without making her seem ghastly or outright manly.  Her outfit really is ridiculous.  It’s the kind of thing you realize when you take prose and transfer it to image.  It’s like seeing Patrick Bateman drawn straight from the book.  He’d look like a goddamn clown (even his creator, Bret Easton Ellis, admits that).  Like Nyx, she’s going to be donning some new threads soon.

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It’s raining.

So my reasons for not updating?  Well I’m not entirely comfortable discussing them on the net, but put simply, I was faced with a dilemma that robbed me of whatever motivation there was for writing.  But I think I’m getting over it.  I’m working on the chapter again (and toying around with an idea that could cause general geekery among you all.)  But since I’m SO overdue, here’s my chapter preview.  This part is pretty much guaranteed to be left in the posted draft, but I actually deleted a large portion today to purse a better path.

I curled in the sheets of a massive bed that wasn’t mine.  I heard patters on the window.  Fat drops of water abused the panes with such gusto that my eye creaked open.  I heard people laugh outside.  At first it was hard for my sleepy-head to grasp why, but then it became clear.

I sat up and tried to blink the sleep from my eyes.

It was raining at Gamath.

I kicked the sheets away and placed my bare feet on the wooden floor, my face turned long with wonder at the sight of the bespeckled glass–the view through which revealed to me indefinite forms that danced and shifted.  I stood, my legs only somewhat affected by my fleeting sleepiness.  I swayed a little as I crossed the room, and the partial light lanced my sensitive eyes.  Forced to squint, I tried to shield my face with a hand, and it was through parted fingers that I saw a phantom drift toward the window.  

They wore only a soaked white nightgown and their auburn hair was left to hang in wet locks about their angular face.  Even through the changing mosaic of rain, I could make out wide cerulean eyes that didn’t blink or falter in their stare.

“Elmiryn.” I called, hoping she heard me through the glass.

She reached a hand up and placed it on the window.  Her lips moved and I could hear her voice through the rain, but didn’t catch what she said.  I shook my head and stepped closer, where I leaned on the window sill for support.  My breath fogged the glass.  “What did you say?”

The woman laughed and shook her head.  She gestured for me to come outside and began to walk away.

I tapped on the glass and tried to call her back, but then decided I was being silly about it.  Rain wouldn’t kill me.  I ran to get my shoes and was about to rush out the door when something occured to me.

Elmiryn was standing outside in nothing but her nightgown.

 Wet from head to toe.

I was thinking I’d post the writing exercise I was doing the other day, just for kicks.  You guys get to see Nyx tear me a new one.  Yay!  And I may post that Elmiryn drawing I was doing a while ago.  No it isn’t finished, but I said I’d post it…

Okay, that’s all I have right now, really.  Here’s to hoping I can make it this week!

Saturday Fun!

Going to Live 105’s BFD at Shoreline Amphitheater in the Bay Area.

Bands I’m looking forward to?  The Offspring, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Cage the Elephant, Crystal Castles, and Metric.  Apparently Does It Offend You, Yeah? isn’t going to be participating, though they were initially included in the lineup.  Plus, I’m not sure, but I guess Designer Drugs aren’t playing live, which seems weird to me that they would even list them if that’s the case.

Still, Saturday looks like it’ll be a great day!

…And in case you were wondering, Eikasia Chapter 8.1 is at 960 words right now.  I’ll definitely have an update Friday!

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I sometimes wonder…

…if others stop and try to connect the dots in their lives?  Of course, everyone takes the time to reflect on their lives to some degree–you wouldn’t be a human being if you didn’t.  But what I really mean is–are they aware enough of their surroundings and the circumstances that others go through?  Does anyone ever feel like they hit the nail on the head when they puzzle over the mystery of a relative’s odd behaviour and the motives behind a friendly employee?  Is a strong revelation ever reached when considering one’s quality of life and one’s relationship with others?

I was a precocious kid.  I’m not saying I was smarter than my peers, or that I was like a fully matured adult at the age of six.  What I mean is that I was always analyzing things.  I became perhaps too sympathetic, and others took advantage of that sensitivity.

Nowadays, I find it becoming a strength.  It’s helped me deal with some situations at work, and also dodge some shady situations when socializing out of my usual element.  The most obvious benefit of this awareness is in my writing, where I can easily create a character with conflicts and individual tastes.

Again, I’m not saying I’m the most attentive person in the world, but when I put it into practice I can usually see the reasoning behind a dilemma or a good situation.  I find this to help diffuse anger or sadness.  In the case of bad things, this doesn’t necessarily give me the answer to my problems, just the means to find it.  A few times, I’ve come to the conclusion that the most effective way to solve the problem is to speak with whoever I’m having the altercation with.  

…And there’s where I typically hit a wall.

In writing, I find it cathartic to have my characters go through tough obstacles, only to solve it and reach a common understanding.  In the real world, however, I find it frustrating, because it seems like I can’t get others to get where I’m coming from.  I try to talk to them as respectfully and as clearly as possible, only to have them shut me down out of stubborn pride or impatience.  Narcissism and ignorance have been the handicaps of man since the dawn of time, and I can’t deny that I’ve suffered from them before…  But I still find it frustrating when people allow their emotions to blind them to the point that they can’t submit to simple logic.  

(This is, of course, assuming that you are knowledgeable of everything that’s relevant to the situation to make that logical conclusion–but for the purpose of this rant, let’s just say that one does.)

Nowadays, I think there’s a lot of emphasis on the self–and it’s this sort of self-involved thinking that creates the narrow minded people you meet today.  It isn’t quite the materialism of the 80’s (though advertising and corporate domination is more pervasive than ever.)  What it is instead is just an idea of self-righteousness.  Lots of popular songs today circle around the idea that one is “right” even when one is “wrong.”  Also, the increased usage of things like the computer and television has made vapidness a wide-spread epidemic.  While this hardly qualifies as proof, I have to say it’s pretty disheartening when many of the kids I’ve spoken to in universities fail to practice basic critical thinking.  And I find it odd, as some of these individuals DO read alot and can ace through tough college courses…

But I guess the issue isn’t that they lack “intelligence” so much as just “wisdom”.

So I just wonder, how many of you stop to try and think of things from all angles?  Do you admit the things you did wrong despite how much it may hurt or embarass you?  Do you factor in where others are coming from?  I.e., a broken home, poor romantic relationships, money problems, social experience… Do you use your conclusions from such musings to try and reach out in a way that the other person would respond positively?  And do they?

This introspective post was brought to you by the makers of Anxiety™, “When confidence is away, insecurity will play!”

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