Today I’m in a mood that can only be described as two-parts irritable, one part desperate. Despite a tough work day on Thursday, that day ended well with a fun night out with my co-workers and my husband. The next day, I’m still in a peppy mood when I remember that appointment bill I had to pay. Then I figured, since I was going out, I’d mail this letter I had been sitting on to my old pal aprilfish. Anyway, as I’m burning her frock (friend rock) and eyeing the clock, I get nervous that the post office will close before I can get there in time. Or conversely, that I’ll get to the post office in time, but have to wait so long that I don’t arrive at my counselor’s office in time before it closes. So I rushed out of the house to the post office. Checking to see that I had everything, I hop out of the car, instinctively locking the door, and slam it shut. As soon as the door swings away from my fingers, I realize…
My keys are in my car.
My all manual car whose windows are all rolled up.
Long story short, it takes two hours for roadside assistance to come and help my dumb ass, and I’m so fucking angry at myself and all that time lost that I give up on the prospect of doing anything productive for the rest of the day. My husband tries to cheer me up, but I’m peeved at him for essentially ignoring my distress despite my calling him, and then making me miss a rock show I’d meant to see that night because he sent an untimely text that made me believe he was coming home soon when he wasn’t.
Good feelings gone.
Whatever good feelings I had left anyway.
Now I’m stuck here fighting with an internet that’s crawling at a snail’s pace despite being less than seven feet from my router, and all I can think about is how much I don’t want to be doing this homework. I’m not even sure I want to play games. I just want to CONNECT with people, like I did on Thursday night. I miss that. I NEED that. So pardon me, dear readers, if I’m not leaping at the prospect of shutting myself in a room and hammering out Eikasia and ALP! for several hours. I’m just….really tired. This week and the week before that took a lot out of me. I know a lot of it is my fault for failing to manage my time better, but GAWD, I just want a few days where I don’t have to worry about anything. I don’t have enough anxiety pills to kill the ills I’m feeling, so I’m guzzling beer and hoping the dopey, yearning feeling will at least buoy me to the finish I need to get this stupid homework done.
I’m so sorry guys. I’ve really been screwing up the updates recently. I’m going to try and decide which day is best to change ALP’s update day to. I don’t know what day will work, as Monday is my only guaranteed day off, but that’s the same day I have my tabletop session, so it gets to be too much. As soon as I figure something out, I’ll let you all know, of course.
Currently listening to Captain Murphy’s “Killing Joke”. Grab the free download at gorillavsbear.net if you’re curious to hear this unusual rap mix with Batman references. I feel like it fits my mood right now…I feel like a lonely shark.