Monthly Archives: April 2009

Am I short, or is this horse just too damn big…?

So hopefully some of you are still sticking around.  If not, I’d understand–a site that doesn’t update just doesn’t seem worth bothering with.  But I’d like to let you all know that I’m making efforts to resume work editing.  I’m also going to make an effort to resume the story.  Probably more effort for the latter considering the amount of time that has passed.

Gosh, so what the heck have I been up to!?  To be honest, not much…job hunting, like so many in America.  Making plans for community college.  Making books and journals from scratch.  Perhaps spending more creative energy than I should into LARPing (live-action-roleplaying).  I’ve also been healthily distracted by movies, games, books, boys and the silly messes they bring with them…

BUT!  (and this is one hell of a ‘but’, my friends) I’ve been making gradual progress over the last month in getting the next installment done.  It’s sad that this couldn’t have atleast happened BETWEEN adventures instead of near the tail-end of one.  Though I think I made some progress in my editing, and perhaps even improved my understanding of Nyx and Elle.

Now I’m not just blowing smoke up your asses.  Really, just see for yourself:

I was the defiler, there. The clumsy heathen whose ragged breath and befuddled feet made a mess of things. All around me was dead. I was a perversity whose future was mirrored in the gray stunted world. My trail was marked by the clouds of ash that came up into the air. These little clouds drifted a yard or two as swirls of currents that traced pale lines through the air, before they blanketed the corpses of animals. Milky eyes glared at me accusingly as I made my way.


Blood stained me. The quilted weave of my gambeson was tainted, the rips that marred it like wounds themselves. I could even feel a breeze in my left boot. The sole had begun to separate at the tip.


My muscles loathed me, and quivered beneath the strains of my commands, as if they had to remember that I was their master. When exhaustion sought to overcome me, I would kneel in the desolation and try to catch my breath. My eyes tunneled, and sweat dripped from the dip of my nose. In my arms, Elmiryn’s lanky body barely seemed to fit into my grip. Her head was cradled against my bosom, eyes shut and her breath faint. Her eyes were red and raw, and her skin a terrible pale complexion. If I stared at her long enough, I thought I could make out her eye sockets shifting…but then it occured to me that it could just be a trick of my eyes.


All the while, in my head, things that were not mine prodded me. I saw battles, recalled feelings, felt sensations that were not mine–not even my counterpart’s. Some of these things, these memories, were Elmiryn’s, I knew…but I made an effort not to pay it any mind. It threatened me, revulted me. My head seemed barely capable handling two personas, how could I stand the memories of others, however feeble?


Every time I felt myself too enthralled with a particular thought, every time I felt myself come too close to empathizing with a memory, I moved. Forced myself forward in sloppy standard, like a drunkard startled out of his settlement. It worked, to some degree. I didn’t drown in what wasn’t mine. But still, things slipped through, and I kept returning to nagging details…

I’m going to put a big phat general disclaimer on that one.  It’s subject to change and edits, as always.

One thing that helped me get my groove back was an awesome music playlist…which I worked tirelessly to perfect over the course of four days.  Some of the songs I chose on the basis of mood, subject matter, and style.  Clearly, some of those songs seem out of place (Nirvana, what?) but some of them reminded me of things completely relevant.  I avoided songs that just sounded cool or catchy.  I had other playlists for that.  This one was put together with a goal.  There’s an art to getting the chemistry of music just right.  For the curious birdies, here’s my playlist, in order–plus three songs from the list to hear:

1.  “The Creep Out” by The Dandy Warhols
2.  “Love is an Unfamilar Name” by The Duke Spirit
3.  “Joker & The Thief” by Wolfmother
4.  “The Devil In The Kitchen” by Ashley MacIsaac
5.  “Psycho” by Puddle of Mudd
6.  “So I need some fine wine, and you, you need to be nicer” by The Cardigans
7.  “Strange And Beautiful (I’ll Put A Spell On You)” by Aqualung
8.  “First Love” by Adele 
9.  “The Cave” by Jorane
10.  “La princesa Dolça de Provença by Trobar de Morte
11.  “Wake the Dead” by A Perfect Circle
12.  “Natural Blues” by Moby
13.  “Face in a Cloud” by Audio Bullys
14.  “Bottom Of The Lake” by The Builders And The Butchers
15.  “All Apologies” by Nirvana
16.  “The Hollow” by A Perfect Circle
17.  “Here Come the Bastards” by Primus
18.  “The Rage” by Judas Priest
19.  “The Trooper” by Iron Maiden
20.  “Jack Of Diamonds” by Sonic Syndicate
21.  “War?” by System Of A Down 
22.  “I Disappear (Metallica Goth Remix)” by Public
23.  “Wildcat” by Ratatat
24.  “May Day” by Unkle (featuring The Duke Spirit)
25.  “My Own Dirge” by Sxip Shirey

“The Cave” by Jorane

This one made me think a lot about Nyx and an important moment in her past…which you’ll all be familiar with soon enough.

“The Trooper” by Iron Maiden

This one makes me think alot of Elmiryn and the battles she’s experienced…but it also made me think of the time Nyx snuck to a battlefield when she was young and saw the dead and dying.

“So I Need Some Fine Wine And You, You Need To Be Nicer” by The Cardigans

Elmiryn’s drinking habits. Easy.

Okay, that’s all the chatter I’ve got left in me. With luck, I’ll get this chapter up before another month goes by. (no, really, I’m trying for this Friday.) Till next time, remember to check twitter and the RSS feed for updates!

EDIT:  Wow, I sound like a grade schooler giving automatic answers…”This story made me think of the, uh, stuff that was…y’know, important.”  It’s almost midnight, I’m allowed some ineloquence, darnit!  Oh, but I meant to pip in that the embed players are being a little weird, so if they aren’t working for you, just try reloading the page…or going here, where coincidentally I have two more songs to listen to–  http://soundcloud.com/cajeck

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